its been quite a while, but the tears still keep on flowing. I never thought that his absence would affect me so much. It annoys the hell out of me that I could not even say goodbye to him properly. I didn't even get to send him off. When he called me 2 days ago, I was trying my best not to cry on the phone. shit. I hate this. I am not this emotional. argh. missin him soo much. hoping and always praying for his safety. Lord G0d, watch over him for me.

..waaa... getting used being a UP stud. hahah. got my Id yesterday. waa. also got my e-card already for the DOST scholarship. it was kinda dorky. It has "I AM A SCHOLAR" at the front. but it is way better than my previous atm. haha

i want to get my yearbo0k!!! hahah. Finally! it is over! hahah. After having been stolen from etc. the root of all evil is 0ut. hahah go0d luck to the next treasurer. May the unfortunate things that happened to me, not happen to you.

Special thanks to raniel for getting my yearbook. waaa... luvyah my friend!

meeting loads of new peeps here. Thats wat you get when you stay at the dorm, you meet loads form different places. haha

missin my family-- my m0m, my br0 and my father.

missin my pets-- kiray and isk0

missin my frendz-- the force, alec, pisay illumina, mtv youth

missin my room-- comfy space I have for myself

missin my bo0ks-- it is so0 damn boring here especially our classes are half day now.

missin the pc-- hahah...






missin him.

broke out of my cocoon at 2:24 PM

..nyahah nu idea for other titles.. just booked my ticket this morning, so there's a 50% probability that I could still go home before classes[the real one] really starts.. [yehoo!!!yey!!!hooo!!] haha. I miss davao soo much. It is just know that I could appreciate its beauty, simplicity, clean fresh air and beautiful surroundings. Now dont get me wrong, Manila is a beautiful and really exciting place once you get used to it. But still, there's no place like home. Can't wait to see my family, my dogs my room and xempre my friends.

My flight is scheduled on the 1st of June at approx 1100. I know it is so impractical since I would probably be home for just a week, considering that classes starts on the 13th. [sayang masyado yung pera!!!] owell. Never mind that. Look on the positive side, ayt? just trying to be optimistic these days.. hehe

I was pretty pissed off this morning. My father already filled up the dormitory sheet that was given to parents which states their instructions, blah, blah. Pretty frustrated that after all these time, he is still so strict and has little faith and trust in me. [that's what you get that when your the bunso and the only girl.] its just so argh!!!!! i mean, all these years I tried my best to be the best daughter for them. [ok, maybe not that really hard.] but considering my record, i could still say that I am waay better than a hell lot of kids. [masyado bang mayabang] Well, it is true!

After a while, I suddenly felt guilty [this is always the problem with me.] I mean, I know he is just doing what he THINKS is best for me. Owell. Thinking of things to make me look on the positive side of this issue.

Didn't I say that I was trying to be optimistic?

lol.

fat chance

broke out of my cocoon at 9:38 AM

crAp... i was completely restless during our enrollment. [pano ba naman?! sa haba ng pila na yun!!!] My God.. as in.. Didn't thought that enrollment would take that l00oooong. The briefing was also long, but at least the Engineering Theatre have an aircon. It seemed like heaven compared to the crap of a classrom we have our classes in, due to certain temparature ISSUES. I dont think I remember a day that I didn't produce a kilo of sweat, all natural due to the freaking room temparature, thank you very much. Ho0t, I thought my sweat glands w0uld just collapse from over work.. [hahaha] Honestly, temparature here is n0t n0rmal!!! Nyeiz, after spending four hours in the AS [arts and science also known as palma hall] and sacrificing my lunch considering the l0ng line, for the confirmation of my sked, payments etc. I finally finished! I am officially a registered freshman with no lunch! [haha]

Bull. I did get to pre-enlist online, a day before the deadline. Was so freakin happy. When I saw my sked, I am so0 frustrated. [huhu] Instead of enjoying, making laag, or whatever, I dont get to enj0y my "supposedly classes-free" wednesday and saturday. Shitty. How can I have classes during those days?! I was hoping to have those dayz as my off dayz... But n0o0.... khaye has classes not in the morning, but bef0re lunch. Fuckit. Hate that Phil0! [huhu] Dony know what possesed me to tkae those damn classes, along with Socio [famous for REQUIREMENTS GALORE]. So much for the lets-take-these-classes-for-more-knowledge. Damnit.

This sucks. Am I this *cursed?

Or maybe this is just destined?

Looking at it on the brighter side, maybe it really is meant to be...

Tell you when I know.

broke out of my cocoon at 9:05 PM

haha. bo0ring... got nothing to do ad usual.. i should actually be in the NIGS building having my math class, but instead I am making a post!! haha.. Im with my insan right now. Got tired of walking around UP and this freakingly [is there such a word?] abnormal temparature.. hahah so here we are in the net cafe. its a nice change, getting away from those bo0ring classes, but I admit I miss those cute guys in our class. [haha jowk!]

tomorrow's our enrollment, i think I haven't forgot anything else.[really hope so] Go to have the dorm orientation within this week. Still dont know where I am staying. hahah. [better make up my mind pretty soon] wahaha.

From what I have heard, a lot of ILLUMINA peeps are already here in Manila or in the dorm, but I only got to see only a few of them. hAHAH. owell. ill probably see them pretty soon. Even if the campus is really big, they cant escxape me!!! [hahah]

Is it pretty obvious that I've got nothing else to write?! hahah did I mention that I am bo0red? hehehe

I think a couple of times already..

Ciao!

broke out of my cocoon at 10:04 AM

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! today is a friday and i normally enjoy fridays, but this is not a normal one, so I dont get to enjoy it. wa!!!!

I am supposed to be attending classes her in UP, but since I was late [surprise, surprise] when I reached our "supposed" to be room, no one was there. I have no idea where everyone is and my damn cellphone is playing tricks on me again. Can anyone get luckier? I hate this. ARGH!!! So after wasting my time on walking around the campus, I decided to drop by and make a post.

I know UP is big. But I didn't expect it to be that BIG. hahah. I was trying to find our class, but it seems like a stupid thing to do, knowing it would take me more than a day to know where the hell they are without any means of communication with anyone of them. hahah.

Missin my family and friends. Yesterday, Hubs, Renel, Migs and I toured [more like a marathon] the campus. It was fun. But when I tried to do it today, I didn't find much joy to it. Owell, its almost lunch. Gotta start wondrin' around. Better find Pearl. I cant miss another class!

Wonder where the really are..

broke out of my cocoon at 9:47 AM

this is it. after the long awaited debate, discussions and sermons it is final. i am going to study in UP Diliman. To think that I have awaited and anticipated this for so long, i cant understand what this is I am feeling. expect that of me, kbow tlga..

The day before was my friend Danica's 17th birthday. I am soo happy for her. kala ko na nga hindi ako makakapunta. hahaha.. buti nalang.. This just shows that Dan would always be special to me. char lang! Normally, I would be celebrating and singing at the top of my lungs, but that wasn't the case. True, partly because "My name is Kim Sam Soon" is about to end, but there was just a part of me that didn't feel like celebrating. sowey, dan.. It just reminded me of the Batch Illumina and how much I missed and will miss them. shucks! nagdrama na jud ko.. ahhaha I know its so urgh, call it cold feet but I cant help but think that, by sunday night I would not be here anymore.

Yep, my flight today is scheduled at 8:20 pm bound for manila. I know that most of my batchmates are also going there but I cant help but feel that DREAD to be far away from my family. Well, we are all bound to be separated with my father, but i would surely miss my mother and brother though we bicker most of the time. luv ko parin naman sila. The fact that I dont get to say goodbye to my *pargies* nik namin ng bro ko for one another since mga 5 pa kami The fact that I get to stay in the dorm or Cavite or Mandaluyong, the last two expected to be draining due to travelling issues, is fun and exciting but also scary. I was born in Manila, but it has been nearly 8 years since I last stepped foot there. It is to be a new journey ahead for me. I know it would be tough, but I also know it could be fun.

I love being a scholar. It makes me proud of myself and it makes me feel better by helping my parents financially. It started in High School and I plan to continue it up to college. I was lucky enough to bag the DOST scholarship, although it certainly asks a lot, it surely gives a lot also. hehe Imagine my surprise when I learned of the agreement DOST made with UP. All RA 7687 DOST scholars studying in UP, in pursuit of excellence shall be an OBLATION GRANTEE. This is an exception to the rule, that states that only one govenment scholarship could be enjoyed by a student. The RA 7687 scholars can both enjoy the DOST scholarship and Oblation grant. If in case the scholar cant meet the standards for the Oblation Grant, he still can enjoy the DOST scholarship provided the scholar has satisfied the requirements. Its not that much of a deal I know, but I just found it nice. buti nalang!! But we also have to pay the price. We are required to attend a Summer Orientaion Enrichment Program (SOEP) in the school that we choose to enroll to, in this case in UP Diliman. Sure we are to be given 1 month allowance, but instead of having a longer vacation and time here in Davao, I have to go there early, since it starts this tuesday, MAy 2, 2006. It would also be very impractical, if I was to go home after SOEP since it end on May 31, 2006 or maybe longer due to enrollment, cosidering classes will start June 13, 2006. kaya naman hindi ko mapigilang mainis!!! bakit kasi hindi pede dito?!? mas makakatipid pa ako, at mas makakasama ko family ko longer. But owell, we will just have to accept the reality and look at the positive side of it. At least I have greater time to adjust and get the hang of Manila.

LASTS. jowk. I know it wont be the last but it seems like eternity till I would be back here in Davao, here in my haus, writting posts in our pc, enjoying time with my pet dogs, reading books in the sala, watching tv and acting as if i own the place, [well, technically my parents own the place] hahah My Pisay Family, my The Draco-Hermione Fanfics Marian and I were and still crazy about. The long telebabad sessions and gimicks with my barkada. Saturday nights and laag ng mga buang moments with the MTV [Matina Teacher's Villag] YOUTH. watching corny and sappy but incredibly funny korean and some pinoy soaps. Our simple FAMILY get -to-gethers. Im trying to live without those things now. It could happen again, but not the same like it is now. Surely I would miss those moments!

It is about 1:30. still awake, parents and brother still in kidapawan. it wont be long, father and mother would also be home. Shit! I haven't finished packing my bags. Shit!

I wonder when this would happen again.
as if di nako babalik. haha


cant help but feel that way.

broke out of my cocoon at 12:21 AM

bo0ring... i never thought that life could actually be this bo0ring. I mean, I expected more this summer, like fun fun and fun? hehe waaa. bo0ring. Argh~ I still havent decided which school or what course I am to pursue. siliman, up? nursing, mat eng, food tech, med? lalallalalalalalallalalalla. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttt aaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmm iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii goooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dooooooooooooo??!?!! wohohoho... heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp! huhuhu.. i didnt know that i am such a fickle minded person. one minute this one, then later another....... hai.... i miss pisay. I was there yesterday and i had time to make senti yuck, conyo ba tayo? hehe. its true. The school was so unlike it was before, when there were still teachers, students and xempre kami. hai... pisay wont be the same without the illumina. I can feel it. owell, cant wait for danica's birthday!!! i wanna see them ol!! :D nyahha

broke out of my cocoon at 3:07 PM